Blade Maidens: Closed Fist, Open Hand – 6

“I’ve been getting the Torch for a decade now and seen dozens of would-be tavernkeeps try to spout what they think passes for wisdom about the job.

I’ve run my tavern–The Song and Swallow– for the last 35 years. My dad ran it before that. And his mom before that. So trust me when I say: they wouldn’t know a successful tavern from a puddle of piss.

If you’re looking to open one of your own, you need 3 things in a location:

A good brewery. If you’re doing it yourself, gods be with you, but it’s worth the cost to just buy the damn beer.

A good grocer. Farm works too. You have some good, cheap, easy food and you’ll sell twice as many drinks. That’s the important bit. And most important of all…

A good carpenter. If there’s one thing I know about a proper Telosian tavern, there WILL be fights and you WILL lose tables and chairs in the process. If you can find a reliable, quick source of new ones, you’ll save yourself a season’s worth of headaches. Doubly so if they don’t drink at your place. I’ve had to go through a half-dozen of them, kept dragging their own messes in and creating work for themselves. Don’t woodwork where you work your wood, eh?

Good luck.”

– A reader-submitted letter to the popular periodical the Freehold Torch, attributed to one Torva Sharpjaw.